Friendship.. a few random thoughts

Wow! Thank God its Sunday! I got a day off from office :) Actually I should say I got a night off! Being a patchy insomniac does not help really. You look at the watch. You know its getting late. You know you have to wake up early next morning to catch the office bus. But you just can't sleep! Tonight its different. I don't care if I dont feel sleepy tonight. Coz tomorrow I can wake up late :) Cool!

So what do you do to spend a wonderfully peaceful time like this? You do something that is really close to you ain't it? Yeah same here! I would usually browse through my movie library, pick one up and get lost in the world of cinema. May be I would pick up a book to read. And yes sometimes I would try my hand on blogging too! I would do all that.. some 1 month ago.

When do we decide a person to be our 'Friend'? What makes him/her feel to special to us? I always considered myself to be a choosy picker when it comes to friends. I have very few folks around whom I tag as friend. I tend to get a lot involved with the person I care. If I dont feel like caring for you and paralllely dont believe that you will care a little for me (a little is enough :D ), I wont let you enter my world.

Pretty calculative, right? Ohh yeah I used to be all that.. About 1 month or so ago. All these logic seems to be a little twisted these days. How else would I explan this new friend in my life then? It would have been a realy outrageous thought even 1 month back that I think of some person as if she was some one I knew .. well always! To make matters more scary, I have never met her. Yes you guessed it! She is one online friend.

Damn I keep on asking myself if I have gone crazy. After all, this is the age of short term flirts (relationship is a too pure term for it). Time-pass thing. You add folks on your 'Networking Circle', you tell catchy (if you ask me its actually tacky) stuffs, prove your wit (shit), show how smart (MTV Copy cat) you are. And then you meet one more. The for loop never ends.

On real life, however, you meet. You watch the person for real. You judge him by the way he talks, behaves. Friends and friendships are something that's more tangible then. It has a proper way ahead. I am not saying short time flirts don't exist in real life, but the probabilities of that happening are many times lower.

All said and done and known. I still let her enter my world! "Crazzy, Man! This is Insane" - I keep telling myself. But then, I can control myself!

Now this will sound scary but there is cool fundah from Bhagwat Geeta that I always try to follow when I feel confused. I try and decide what all factors are under my control and what are not. Often it comes out that 70-80% of things bothering me are not in my control. I stop thinking about them. Things become easier to handle. The power of detachment is really useful. Gosh, even that technique is not helping here! :( Its in my control how I behave to here. I can either stop talkin to her or otherwise. I dont want to follow the former. What is not in my control is what/how she will behave. Does she trust me? Or is she taking it as one more of those time-pass stuffs. Heck, I wish I knew!

Good thing about this mayhem is.. its keeping me going through one of the toughest phases of my life. If there is something to look forward to in the non-existent private life of mine is her and a couple of folks whom I really look forward to meeting/chatting. Life feels so fresh after that!

Aaah.. enough for today.. All of a sudden I feel like I am writing crap :D To end the story, I guess I will choose the later path and parallely keep my fingers crossed.. Lets give this thing a chance.. Surely, bad things won't always happen to Good people, right? Cant help but think of that sooper cool movie called "Pursuit of Happyness". Idea of the word 'pursuit' is so apt when it comes to happiness. You have to chase it.. Sometimes you win, you are not so lucky other times. The hope of something beautiful keeps the persistence alive. And well, it takes some guts (knack of gambling, some will say) to chase it :D

I had decided not to stop dreaming and not to stop chasing dreams long back..
Cheers!