Time for a little introspection

The "less-hectic" life continues. Yeah, life is still going on in a controlled way. I seem to have controlled the work at office, at least for the time being. Return of senior leads from Japan has helped tons. At least now I can discuss problems and work estimations with people who will be able to appreciate and understand the finer details involved.


So here I was, on a nice shining morning at Bangalore. It was a Good Friday. We have a long weekend off. Just what I wanted. I do not understand why I was not allowed to take my leave now, though. There are very minimal pressure at work these days and I could have easily gone home for that one week break. Strangely, I have asked to take it on the last week of April. I am kind of worried about the level of pressure I will be under then. I really need the break, you now. I have become home sick, big time. The last time I was like this was in the autumn of 2007. I was away from home for 10 months. This time its been six months, but it feels like I have been away for over a year.

Two of my room mates left for Kolkata this morning though. Last night we had a great time. It was a kind of party, stuffs like this happen whenever we go off to our home town. Poppins was at the receiving end of the fun though. Apparently his girl friend will pick him up at the airport. The guy missed dinner and he wanted us to bring some milk for him. We kinda saw the lighter part of that food choice you know! Guys will be guys :)

This morning I made two new friends. I am really happy to meet these two guys. This post is more about them than any thing else - Sudipta and Bhaskar. Yes they are bongs at bangalore. These two guys are from kolkata. Friends for last 7 years. They have done their graduations in Economics from colleges in Kolkata which I must admit, I have never heard about. They did not manage to get first class either. Both admitted frankly that they never liked studies and they never had the passion for it. They just ensured that they manage to get the degree somehow. Anyone who is from my part of the world can imagine how tough it is for a "barely-passed" economic graduate to get a job these days. The odds are really really slim.

What did they do? Sudipto knew that he has to get into the computers. It is where the bucks lie. So he had been doing some part time job at the Kolkata HP centre all through his college life. He was earning 3-4 grand those days. He would use that money to pay college fees and enjoy every single Bangla band show at the Najrul Mancha. After college he did training on Computer Hardware at IIHT, a renowned training centre at kolkata. Once done, he used his references at HP to get a job at HP service centre Bangalore. He even referenced his best friend Bhaskar at the same office. Both are now doing a stable job here. Sudipto has even managed to bag a laptop as appreciation from HP because of his hard work. They are earning anywhere between 10-15 grand a month. Not a lot but a lot lot more than they would have earned
a) had they not thought out of the box.
b) had they not dared to come to Bangalore.
Bhaskar's father for instance, apparently earns about 5grand a month.

I was really happy, actually glad to meet these two folks. This is how you live your life. You know what your limitations are, you do whatever best you can within the limits. You work hard, you work honest, you do whatever you need to do to make a life out of your existence. I see Sudipto and Bhaskar staying a 10 by 7 room. I do not see any frustration, any "I miss my home" syndrome, any "this is killing me" syndrome. I see dreams in their eyes. I see an honest approach in their eyes, they want to have a comfortable life, they are going to make it through their hard work, they are going to do whatever it takes to reach there.


I could not help but think of my college mates at kolkata. Nutu, Buldi, Sndp, Nyaba.. all so talented. All so well educated. All of them could have done so much to their career here at Bangalore. They decided not to venture out of their comfort zone. No one wanted to fight it out. They all just did not want to push themselves. It was all so disturbing. Buldi chased a girl, whatever he says, I know it was the main reason why he wanted to go. That girl married a guy whom her parents choose for her. You can love a person more than you, but to that person you may not exist. Poor bulu learnt that lesson.. in the most unfortunate way possible.. He got into this Devdas mode (guys will be guys!). It took a lot of effort from Sndp, Prat and me to get him out of his negative mode. He seems to have gained stability. Sndp is still holding on to his H1B dreams. I hope he gets through the lottery and eventually gets his papers signed.. unlike me, who, even after qualifying in the lottery, got his papers hold back. Nutu is getting married this june. As Shubham says, he is from a different galaxy altogether. He is not from Milky Way. All he cares is about eating his rice, daal and bengali style fish curry in peace. Stop him from eating fish for 2 days, he will go lunatic. Nyaba.. well.. I dunno.. he was supposed to get an onsite for 2 months which did not happen. I really dunno what are his plans. He is still a kid.

I dont know where we all be after five years. Me, Shubham, Poppins, Den2 have taken a path which totally different from the path of the others I mentioned above. I really dont know whether we will be able to conclude who took the right decision. Me and Shubham keep discussing, that may be we are missing the finer joys of life. We are missing the long addas at our home town. I miss being taken care by my parents, I miss being near to them. I miss the long walks at college street, searching for books. I miss the christmas eve at Park Street. I miss drinking beer with all those buddies at kolkata. I miss the heated political discussions over a cup of tea. I wish I had all that. I wish allowed all those little pieces of fun. Bangalore does not give me all these. But Bangalore has given me something else. You know what is the most important thing Bangalore gives? It supplies fuel. It supplies fuel for the dreams of all the ordinary students like me, sudipto and bhaskar. People like me, who despite being a non-IIT engineer can actually get to work in developing eNBs for 4G telecomm technology like LTE. Whereas most of my college mates are either doing some stupid maintenance work on Mainframes, or writing some SQL query which even a class 7 student can write, given proper training. Shubham is already making it big, working at Freescale, one of the topmost semiconductor companies around. Bangalore allows people like Sudipto and Bhaskar, who are far far away from proper computer degree to earn a salary which is already double of what their parents used to earn. I am sure in 4-5 years, these two blokes will earn anything around 50 grand a month. Now that is some achievement. Their college mates will not earn that even after 10 years of their job, if and when they get it.

Success, Right, Wrong are very much relative terms. I would be really happy if bulu is happy about his decisions in the years to come. I would hate to think that I took a wrong decision as well. Something tells me though, both groups will not be happy. Anyways, what the heck.. lets earn money for now na? :) Lets keep the pursuit for happiness alive..!! I am sure we will all have a story to tell in five years anyhow!

The Cynic gets a rush of dream in his head..

Hate is baggage. Life is too short to be pissed of all the time.


We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained.. we must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory.. will swell when again touched.. as surely they will be.. by the better angels of our nature.


With these words ended this wonderful movie called "American History X". Its been one of those days when you get surprised by every good things that happen to you. How come every thing that is happening today does not have any droplets of disappointment or despair attached to it? - I wondered over and over again today. Its that strange sensation of seeing something unexpected, something which is good but something you almost forgot to expect from life.


I dont know, maybe my first whole weekend at home after about 7-8 weeks is making me say this, may be am a little overreacting. I dont know. But the fact remains that today, I felt content, I felt happy, for a whole day. I loved my day today. Let me just list down the things I liked about my day.
1. India is playing a dominant and aggressive game at New Zealand. I have never seen an Indian Cricket team that is looking so confidant, so consistent, so sure, so aggressive for over such a long period of time. Touch wood.

2. I liked the biriyani at Lazeez today.

3. My Laptop has been facing some issues for last few months. Its getting heated up way too much and way too fast. To get it serviced at the HP service centre would have costed at least 1500 to 2000 grands. But I met a "Bong Knight" today at the service centre who agreed to do it in a much much nominal price.. of the book though..!! Now, please dont make me feel guilty about this. I mean, the Laptop just needs to get the fan cleaned up a little. No company deserves to get paid 1500 bucks for this. HP service renewal takes 5500 bucks, and the contract has to be renewed every year. This is totally shitty. This guy is my and my friends' Knight with shining armor now, as far as Laptop problems are concerned, that is.

4. Spent three hours at the Enigma tonight. Its my most pub in Bangalore. There are few better ones in terms of the crowd and the DJ, but this one is absolute value for money. Just what a software techie needs in times of recession, isnt it? :)

5. I saw my heart throb, Koel Mallick's bengali movie today :) Yippie, I am in love with her since the college days, and this is the frst movie I have seen of her. can you imagine how great that feeling was? :) The movie is called "Bor asbe ekhuni" (The Groom will arrive soon).

6. I spent 24 hours without thinking anything about matters next code release, code coverage in Unit Testing, Module Test reports for my code. That is such a big relief.

7. I watched American History X. Loved it.

8. Spent hours gossiping with friends today. This is the best stress reliever a man can get you know, chatting/gossiping with friends is the ultimate stress buster in life.

Gosh.. I wish I stay this cheerfull for the most of days from now on. Last few months has really been tough for me. I learnt so much about myself in those times. I took a lot of effort out of me to get through that period, I guess the best way to face bad and sad times is to stop worrying about it and grin your through. Thats something I learnt from my hero, Lance Armstrong. You cant fight bad times, they are like cyclones. There is no use trying to fight and defeat them. You just have to bite your teeth and go through the pain. Take the blows, it will end, sooner or later. I just hope the bad times are almost over. Actually after the G20 summit the world economy to is trying to kick up again. Last week the Indian sensex comfortably stayed on the better side of that important 10k mark. The US stock looked buoyant too. Hope there are the signs of good things to come.

Life indeed, is too short to be pissed off all the time. Its just not worth it.

Missing home

One more March 31st crosses over. This one was a long one. The US recession has really started eating up in the minds of the IT folks world over. Hopefully the beginning of the new fiscal year will bring with it a better luck for the Economy.



Its not at all easy to keep pushing yourself against the tide. In my personal life I am have been doing just for more than three months now. Working in Kyocera is not helping matters. This organisation is probably one of the least organized in the world. A lot of stuffs are painfully too ad hoc. People plan the deliverables by taking into account 10-12 hours of work even during the weekends. After about three years of work in the Industry, I have come to know one simple truth, if you BELIEVE you can do a job in 10 days, ask for 15. Here, if they believe they can do a job in 10 days, they will convince themselves that they can work for 2 hours more everyday and finish the job in 7 days. On top of that, people will decide that they will come and work in weekends as well. So they commit for 5 days to finish the stuff. Absolutely horrendous affair.




There is one perpetual problem with the Indian IT people. Especially managers. Here people dont believe in being a MASTER. They would rather have a bunch of jack-asses, who they will call JACK-OF-ALL-TRADES. If someone is good in doing work A, they will put him into work B and in work C, asking him to excel in that as well. No one understands that it is not like selling Sarees, where if you can sell Benarasi you can sell Mysore Silk as well.


Its okay to work in a over pressurised, over tight, over strained schedule for one month or two months, when the saga becomes longer lasting, things start to get irksome. I myself try to keep up the good spirits and stay as much as possible at home on weekends. Things do not always go that way though. One Sunday I was called to office at 9pm. I had to work all through the night, without an iota of sleep, came out of office only at 10pm on monday night. Sleepless nights are like a routine here. Somehow I have been able to control the damage a lot onto me. But still, the journey has not been very pleasurable.




Dreams come with a lot of costs. Yesterday we achieved 3Mbps on Live Videostreaming using L2 and L3 integrated together. Thats quite an achievement. The cost we have paid is pretty big too.



Right now I stand in a drenched phase of my life. I have learnt a lot in the last 6 months at Kyocera. Most important of all lessons is that I have convinced myself that my capabilities and qualities is in no way inferior to that of folks who are working on Product companies, at least in India. That was a question who answer I HAD to find out. That a main reason for me to leave the comfort zone of Wipro.


But right now I need a little rest. I am desperate of one sabbatical. I am desperate to be amongst the people I love so much. I miss my parents and friends so much now. I wish I could fly like a bird and see them right away..!! I have to wait till the end of this month though.. I miss my home. I miss a little smile in my life.